Doudou is a child diagnosed with autism, 4 years old this year, but can not speak, due to the “temper tantrums”, his mother took him to the institution for intervention, after the rehabilitation teacher’s explanation, his mother gradually understood the reasons for Doudou’s “temper tantrums”, due to the fear of their own improper handling will aggravate the emotional problems, Doudou’s mother turned to the teacher for help. After the rehabilitation teacher’s explanation, his mother gradually understood the reason for Doudou’s “tantrums”.
Children’s tantrums often have several stages
Stage 1: Agitation, self-talk, self-stimulation, impatience, and lack of concentration. Stage 2: Increased agitation, with the child resisting, running away, increased self-stimulation, crying, etc. Stage 3: extreme agitation, shouting, hitting, throwing things, self-injury ……
Stage 4: More severe self-injurious and injurious behavior towards others.
Special attention should be paid to the fact that children do not necessarily need to go through every stage, some children can adjust their emotions in the first stage, while some children directly from the first stage of the outburst crossed the second stage, directly developed into the third and fourth stage. Depending on where your child’s tantrums are in the different stages, the goals for dealing with them are different.
What to do when your child is on the verge of a tantrum
Focus and Goal: Recognize the signs that your child is approaching a tantrum and prevent it!
The following strategies may help your child prevent tantrums:
1. stay calm and help the child communicate: the child may not know how to express his or her needs; this is a time when we can help the child express them, “Want a cookie.”
2. focus on what the child is doing well and praise him or her: if the child has not yet lost his or her temper, praise the child for controlling his or her emotions.
3. Help the child relax and distract him or her. 4.
4. physically block successful tantrums: When the child is about to throw something, gently hold the child’s hand to prevent the throwing.
5. Adjusting the current environment to remove things or words that cause tantrums.
6. offer to provide what the child wants.
7. prepare the child for the change by anticipating what will happen next and how long it may last.
What to do if your child is having a tantrum
Focus and goal: Avoid further escalation and prolongation of the tantrum.
If the child’s behavior escalates before the tantrum is over, there are a number of things we can do to deal with a tantrum that is escalating:
1. Ensure your child’s safety: Children are prone to rolling on the floor and throwing things during tantrums, so it is important to remove items that could injure your child or others around you.
2. Remove irritants that irritate your child.
3. empathize with the child: understand the child’s emotions and moods at the moment and maintain empathy.
4. Ignore problem behaviors and reinforce behaviors that are good in the moment: Don’t focus too much on the child’s bad behavior in the moment, for example, when the child throws something, don’t say to him, “Don’t throw!” Parents can gently grab the child’s hand to prevent the child from throwing, when you find that the child is no longer free from your hand to throw things, immediately praise and reward the child: “You now have a little bit of calm, no longer throw things, great!”
5. Stay with your child and give him/her a chance to find his/her feet.
What to do when your child’s tantrum is over
Focus and Objective: To find out the cause of the tantrum and deal with it accordingly.
There is often a reason behind a child’s tantrum. If the reason for the tantrum is not dealt with, the child will exhibit the same behavior the next time he or she encounters the same situation, so it is crucial to deal with the child’s tantrum after it has ended.
1. Analyze the reason why your child just lost his or her temper.
2. Seek professional guidance on how to establish alternative behaviors and teach new skills.
After the rehabilitation teacher’s explanation and guidance, Doudou’s mom knew how to handle Doudou when he had a tantrum. The teacher especially emphasized: when the child throws a tantrum, the most important thing parents need to do is to remain calm and rational, have a calm mind, take a firm stand, and control their own emotions in order to carry out the series of treatments mentioned above.
When your child’s tantrums are too frequent or last for a long time each time, affecting your daily life, intervene in a timely manner, turn to professionals to analyze the reasons behind, and formulate an intervention plan to help your child better control his/her emotions.
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